The Doghouse
Hi, my name is Bobdog (yeah, I know...did you get to
choose YOUR name?) and I own this place. I let Avondell sit in
the corner and play on this thing when he isnt busy feeding or
entertaining me. I was born roughly (no pun intended) 8 years
ago, and Avondell was given to me when I was born. We live in
Seattle together and we have all sorts of fun adventures. First,
we are both batchelors. We get to lay around and stink and fart
all we want and no one complains (well, I do occasionally...he
can be really gross sometimes). We go all kinds of neat places
and smell all sorts of neat smells. Sometimes I'll smell something
and go dashing off after it. Avondell stands there and yells and
watches me and yells some more...I just ignore him. Sometimes
I dont think he has as much fun as I do. But thats okay.
You may be thinking to yourself "but yer a dog".
Oh, but not any ordinary dog, I am a black
and tan coonhound, and we are a very special and intelligent
kind of dog. Black and tans were the first true coonhound.
Now you may be thinkin "how many kinds are there?" Well
lots...theres blue ticks, red ticks, red bones...but they are
all inferior to us black and tans. I am a hunting hound. Some
dogs prefer to wear perfume and run around in tents to be judged
by how they hold their head and how quiet they can be. I prefer
to snuffle around in a big pile of bear do-do and run a critter
up a tree. And keep quiet? hehe...right.
But I'm not a killer. I just chase em. Really. I am
the biggest, most friendliest, lovablest dog around. I wouldnt
hurt a fly. Corner it? Sure. Howl my head off at it? Yup. But
I dont bite. Heck I wont even bite Avondell. I have better ways
to get even with him. Us black and tans are like that. Like, I
can yell him up. Thats a term we dogs use when huntin a critter.
Some critters'll hold their ground and play dead or try ta blend
in. So we was bred with this incredible voice...my howl can shake
any critter loose and set it off runnin. Includin Avondell during
his afternoon nap.
But I dont just howl any ol nonsense like most unintelligent
dogs. I say specific things when I talk and anyone who listens
fer awhile can understand it. Fer instance, I gotta certain howl
I use when I think I smell somethin and wanna go check it out.
Then if I find out what it is, I gotta different howl fer different
critters. Rabbits, raccoons, possums, housecats, and stuff like
that dont impress me all that much. Sure, I'll chase em if I feel
like it, but they really aint much challenge...one good bellow
and they are off in the next county. Big critters...like deer,
elk, bear, and big cats really get me goin though. Boy, I'll chase
through 8 layers of barbed wire to get after one of those critters!
They are fun cuz I can catch em and cuz they are worth catchin!
When I catch something big, or get somethin cornered, I got a
howl I use then too.
::whimper:: But Avondell sez I cant go hunt them critters
no more :`(
He sez the mean ol treehuggers who dont understand
nature and biology but do understand how to sign their name on
a piece of paper made it illegal fer me to ever go hunt them critters
again. ::sigh:: Well, guess theres not much we can do now, cept
join the N.R.A. and try not
to let it happen in other places. We met a lot of nice people
and had a lot of fun out chasin critters over the years...now
I gotta spend hunting season in a kennel or with a friend of Avondell's
cuz I aint even allowed in the camp :(
I got kicked outta the kennel I was in a couple years
ago, but thats another story.
I'll get Avondell to take some more pictures of me
and I'll keep an eye on this website so Avondell dont mess it
up.
August 1999: Avondell has a friend named
Bob and Bob has a wife who has CATS. Bob's wife likes CATS but
Bob doesnt so when Bob's wife isnt around, Bob lets Avondell and
Me hunt them CATS. I got to chase one the other day all the way
across a cow pasture. Boy it was fun! That CAT just ran and ran
as fast as it could. CATS can run fast but I can run faster. Especially
in a cow pasture. Lucky for that CAT, there was a tree in the
middle of the cow pasture. It ran right up the tree really fast.
It was a big fat lazy CAT, but even big fat lazy CATS can run
up trees really fast when they have to. It ran way up to the top,
and I stood down below just barking and howling...it was fun!
I made friends with Bob's cows too. They like to howl too, but
funny...instead of WOOOOOOOO...they go MOOOOOOOO...oh well, some
dawgs cant even howl. Cows must be smarter than some dawgs. Noises
is almost as important as smells and cows know that.
Avondell got me a new collar a few days ago. Its nice and shiny
silver, not like the gay purple thing around my neck in the picture
above. He chopped my toenails too, so now I can type again.
September 2001: Yeah yeah, so I dont update
my website fast enough for you. Shaddup and look at My Pictures.
Things We Can Learn From
Dogs
1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face
to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they have invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp, and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you're not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by,
and nuzzle them gently.
13. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
16. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
17. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
18. No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt
thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.
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